Poetry

By Keir Apperley:
so sobig is having a dig at my rig
no probs, mailscanner gonna throw me
a spanna to sort out my bug
now all i want to do is hug and jig!

All by Nick:
I hear that your mailbox is full
With Klezzes and spam stuffed with bull.
With mailscanner it's better;
You can read every letter,
And still spend the night on the pull.

To make sure it's efficient,
An MTA proficient
Will use a queue,
And so should you -
Other methods are deficient.

When writing AV scanners
It's really just good manners
To output clear
What we should fear
And avoid pulling tricks list this^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hlong-winded banners.

UNIX filenames will have spaces
In all the most annoying places.
Even if your code must double
You know you need to take the trouble
Or in the end you'll have red faces.

Please pick delimeters with care
Use a char that cannot live there
If there is none
Choose a rare one
And when it's for real use a pair

By Bryan Manske:
While volumes of spam I had seeneth,
It really had quite reached its zenith,
MailScanner deployed,
I'm no longer annoyed,
Nor do I have to refinance my p**is.

By Les Jones:
Much email was sent to an Internet Man
Whose Mailscanner determined it was mostly spam
But quick in his mind and fast on his feet
He thought of that most humble of meats
And replied to them all with frying pans

By Les Jones:
to the boxes of IN and others unnamed
go the Devils of Spam, reckless, untamed
and Nematode warriors bound to the MIME
some parasitic and others benign
 
but waylayed and lo, their mission deterred
with Scanners of Mail properly interred
and the daemons of POP and Old 25
at the end of battle they stand and survive
 
and thick as flies the messages thrash
as their headers are flagged, "SPAMFILTERED" for trash
though, try as they might, when cut short in their flight
they cannot escape Mailscanner's sharp bite
 
So to Admins whose living depends upon mail
without MailScanning tools you will miserably fail
avoid the Devil and countless Nematode sprees
by installing MailScanner in your init.d

Contributions most welcome!
Julian Field